Practicing For Prison
Legend has it that the following was excerpted
from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank
robbery on March 2, 1999:
Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at
disabling the internal security system got underway immediately.
The robbers, who expected to find one or two
large safes filled with cash and valuables, were surprised to see
hundreds of smaller safes scattered throughout the bank.
The robbers cracked the first safe's
combination, and inside they found only a bowl of vanilla pudding.
As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one
robber said, "At least we'll have a bite to eat."
The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also
contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until
all the safes were opened.
They found not one pound sterling, a diamond, or
an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls
Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit,
each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full
The newspaper headline read: "IRELAND'S
LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING."