In the wake of the Exxon/Mobil deal and the AOL/Time Warner implode, I wanted to make a few close friends aware of the next expected mergers so you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations in late 2002 and make yourself a bundle.

1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush and W.R.Grace Co. will  erge and become ... Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros. and Zesta Crackers join forces and become ... Polly, Warner Cracker.

3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and issue forth as MMMGood.

4. Zippo Mfg., Audi Motor Car, Dofasco and Dakota Mining will merge to become, of course, Zip Audi Do Da.

5. Federal Express is expected to join its major competitor, UPS, and consolidate as Fed UP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become Poupon Pants. 

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the Nat'l Org. of Women will become Knott NOW!

9. "Stop and Shop" with "A&P". They will call themselves, for everyones relief, ---- "Stop and P."