Eye Eye Captain
A pirate came to his home port and visited his regular tavern. When the bartender saw him enter, he said, "Hey, great to see you! But what happened?
When you left you had all your body parts, and now you've got a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch."
The pirate waived-off the bartender's concern and replied, "Oh, I'm doing fine."
But the bartender persisted, and asked, "What happened to your leg?"
The pirate said, "Well, we were attacking a ship, and they fired a cannon at us, and it shattered my leg. So I got this peg leg."
Then the bartender said, "What about that hook? When you left here you had both hands."
The pirate said, "Well, we were attacking a ship, and while boarding it got into a sword fight, and my hand got chopped-off. So I got this hook installed."
The bartender then said, "I see. What happened to your eye?"
The pirate said, "I was on the deck one day looking up at the sky, and a sea gull dropped one right in my eye!"
"Bummer!" said the bartender, "but how can you lose an eye from a bird dropping?"
The pirate replied, "It was the day after I got my hook.